Good morning group,
Liz A here, gratefully
recovering debtor.
I have reached Day 60
solvent! I've struggled a bit to get here, I've had to restart my count
seven times since August 21st, when I joined, and I've made some significant
changes to the way I think about money.
I started working with my
sponsor on September 18th. She had me read chapter 3 of the Big Book
every day for 30 days. She said to do it even if I didn't feel that I was
getting anything out of it. Some days it did feel that way. Some
days I felt cocky and superior because it wasn't really that hard to not
debt... Then I'd debt. I have debted each time I have felt cocky in
my program.
When I had my first PRM in
November, I started by reading the first paragraph of chapter 3, that none of
us likes to thing of ourselves as different. That's me! But without
the instruction from my sponsor to keep reading that material, I may not have
been able to see myself in the literature.
I have also worked through
each of the signposts and "Is DA right for you?" questions. I
wrote out my debting history. I relied on my sponsor for support when I
was agitated, waiting for a cheque to come
in.
I have tracked my numbers
faithfully since joining.
I have put together a
tentative spending plan.
I have learned so much about
my spending habits, compulsive purchases, and how to say no.
I have increased my
self-esteem and self-confidence, in good ways, and I am now able to stand up
for myself more often (not always, but more than before).
I have written about some of
the tools in DA. I meant to write about the rest, but there is so much to
say about each one that I felt a bit overwhelmed. (I plan to get back to
this task at some point. Maybe when I start working on the promises.)
I have learned that $200 a
month for groceries is completely unrealistic, as is $20 a week for fast
food. Yikes!
I have learned that I
can live without a credit card.
I have learned just how slimy
credit card companies are, how they take advantage, how they try to suck me/us
in.
I have learned how important
it is to have a contingency fund, and in the process I learned how to save
money, and how to save in such a way to earn higher interest (i.e. don't just
save it in my chequing account!).
I have learned that I am
truly powerless over my debting, but with the support of DA and reliance on my
HP, I can get through. I have removed most of the venues through which I
have incurred debt in the past. My credit cards are part of a large ice
cube in the freezer.
I have learned that when I
debt my life become more and more unmanageable.
I have transferred all of the
balances on my "other" credit cards to just one, which limits the
number of creditors to one - my bank (I have a line of credit and one credit
card at this bank, and my husband has one credit card at this bank, we have
lots of other credit, but all at $0 owing). It has become much easier to
calculate our total debt this way - it's all in one place.
I have spent lots of time
reading
Thanks to the clarity I have
regarding my financial status (debt, account balances, etc.), I have been able
to give to others' in their time of need (charity, etc.). I always felt a
bit funny about giving to others if it meant that money would be tight for me,
but now I know better.
So, Day 60 solvent, with one
PRM under my belt. I have asked my sponsor about becoming a sponsor, and
I'm waiting for her blessing. I can't keep it unless I give it away!
By reading all of the
newcomer posts, I know just how true the above statement is. I see
myself, my behaviours, and my issues within
their posts. I see my own growth when I can see alternatives in their
situations. (Not that every alternative I can think of is the right one
for them, but I can see that I'm learning that there are ways around debting.)
I have learned to make
"grateful" lists. I have SO much to be grateful for. SO
MUCH! I couldn't see that before DA. I couldn't bring myself to
think of the good in my life when things seemed so difficult. But that's
the key - seeing the good. When I can look back at H's layoff
and see how much good it has brought into our lives, I know that I'm growing.
When I can look at my
struggle with depression and see how much I've grown as a person, I know that I
have my HP to thank.
When I crossed the finish
line of the marathon, and was grateful for the opportunity to be there, for the
healthy body that carried me through all 42 kms, for the ability to raise so much money for the
charity close to me, I know that I have so much to be thankful for.
When I can think of 26
things, each beginning with a different letter, that I am grateful for and
write out a Gratitude Alphabet, I KNOW that I am a better person than I was.
Thank you [sponsor], thank
you DA, thank you to the newcomers and old-timers for your ESH, your shares,
your support, for giving away what you have. Thank you!
Wow, 90 days of DA sure has
opened my eyes.
Thank you for letting me
share.
Liz A
117 days in the program, 89
days with my sponsor, 60 days solvent
P.S. I apologize if my post
is a bit "all over the place", it was hard for me to get all of this
in a logical order.