Sherie wrote the following
response to a post from a new list member that said:
“But
I'm also scared. I don't want to write down all of my debts, I don't want
to call back the collection agencies, I don't want to tell people I just can't
pay them right now. It's so overwhelming.”
* * *
* * *
it IS scary at first. and
overwhelming. the piles and debris that need dealt
with seem SO huge. i
offer my esh on doing just one little
thing that will make a difference to you, for just a few minutes.
for me it was opening my mail. i spent 15 minutes a day opening my mail, until
6 months of it was finally opened. it took a couple
three days. AND as i opened it, i
dealt with it - recycled, threw out, saved - so i
wouldn't have to touch it again. i
even found money in there - checks that were sent to me for overpayments i had made. i
was told at the time that clarity was being rewarded by hp
i used a timer. i didn't go beyond 15 minutes at a
time. i breathed deep. avoided panic attacks. it's just
paper after all.
then, i just listed my creditors
on a scrap piece of paper. on a different day, all by
itself.
another day i made a notebook with
each creditor at the top of the page and their contact info, the due date, the
amount owed, the payment amount. i included
everything -, the random stuff like doctor's bills i
am slowly working on, friends i owe money to and
never pay off, the newspaper, the phone, the internet, the car insurance,
the kid's fees for their different organizations, plus the regular monthly
stuff- mortgage, utilities etc.
it wasn't scary because it was just a list of
information. i didn't take
it personally. it wasn't much different than listing
what is going to get grown in the garden. i
mean, i can make it into a big fat hairy ordeal fear
fest, or not. i
decided choosing not was the better route for me.
after that it got a lot easier. i was tired of constant phone calls. if i didn't answer i would have calls every 15 minutes that never left
messages. when i
learned that according to the fair debt collections act, i
can request to be contacted only in writing, well, that got my butt in gear. i wrote letters asking for just
that. the ones i owed money
to and knew were calling me, i also included a
25.00 payment, and arrangement for the future, and told them what day i would be sending the payment each month. i sent those certified mail where i got a receipt back with a signature. only one company did not honor the writing request, and i sent them a second letter, quoting the fair debt
language, and included a copy of the first letter i
sent, with a copy of the signature from that first letter. have
not heard from them since. i
do send my 25.00 each month. the fees do of course add
up, and one of these days i will decide how i want to deal with that.
after that it was easy to look at the whole thing all at
once.
knowing that my priorities are shelter, food, transportation,
and utilities made it easy to figure out what to pay. the
rest is wreckage of the past and i had to decide how
to progress from there.
if you need help doing even that much, you can schedule
a prg. there are folks who
have skill and solvency who can help you get a handle on what is happening for
you. even if it's not as far along as figuring out the
spending plan.
unfortunately i can't help you with that,
as i have yet to meet the requirements for service in
that way.
hang in there. take deep breaths.
it does get better, if you take actions to help
yourself, whatever they may be.
do check in with hp though, it makes it lots more
comfortable.
blessings,
sherie