Counted my Chickens Before They Hatched...

This recovery story is made available under two conditions: (1) no other name is attached, and (2) nobody makes any money off it. Feel free to read it for your own inspiration, and for that of your own local DA group.

Yes, counting those chickens is a lose/lose. When I spend money I do not yet have in my hand I am out of integrity with my DA program.

I was on a PRG with a person once who was expecting a large inheritance within the month. A year later she had not yet received the money. It took several PRGs for her to realize that no matter how grand the amount coming it is only money in hand that will buy food, pay rent, repair the car, pay medical bills etc right now.

I have been in the position of counting on a check deposit from a job or payment from a client to pay an account due. If I do not have a prudent reserve and that check does not arrive or is not released at the bank I can be in trauma/drama. For my serenity I now transfer the full month's expenses from savings into my checking account at the beginning of each month.

During my earlier years in DA my debting dis-ease showed up repeatedly as spending the same $100 five or more times in my head. I would think great I have $100. On Tuesday I would remember that I needed to pay a $98 utility bill and think OK that $100 will be just enough for that bill and a little over. On Wednesday I'd forget that in theory the $100 was already applied to the upcoming ultility bill. I'd remember that I had wanted some boots that cost $115. In my head I'd think I have $100 I can take $15 from my food line item and buy those boots. On Thursday, or was it Wednesday afternoon I'd re-spend that same money on household items, books, tuition, travel, and God knows what. That thinking fits the definition of unmanageability and insanity.

Today I have an income, spending and savings plan. My savings accounts have line items so I know how much I have available for vacation, medical, irregular payments, birthday celebrations, large purchases, retirement, etc. Clarity and serenity result.

DA has NO position on what each member chooses to spend money on. The program is about spending within our means, not what each person values.

One member values spending time in cafes drinking lattes. Another spends on art supplies, sport equipment, clothes, guns, therapy, travel or animals. A PRG will simply point out whether resources are available to spend at the present level of spending.

Example 1:

Income = $3,000 per month

Expenses = $3050 per month

This member is debting or is likely to debt eventually (sooner or later depending on savings).

Example 2:

Income = $3000 per month

Expenses = $2999 per month

This member is solvent.

Some may say Example 1 person would be solvent if they drew on prudent reserves or other savings. But I say, they are debting now if not drawing on prudent reserve AND will likely debt eventually if their expenses repeatedly exceed income. I say this based on many years of conducting PRGs and from my own personal experience.

During my second year in DA I looked back and reviewed my monthly numbers for the past year. What I noticed was that I was spending approximately $10-$20 more each month than income. Now, this amount doesn't seem like much. But, if I kept on that track eventually I would debt. It was a potential threat to my serenity and my ongoing solvency. This was a significant wake up call for me. I am grateful to my PRG.

I realized that it doesn't take hundreds or thousands of dollars in monthly overspending to get into debt. Just one dollar overspent, if repeated compulsively, will lead to debting. I hope this clarifies.

My intention is to communicate that DA does not judge nor criticize what members choose to spend their money on. Each person spends first on essentials then on whatever they value. Each person values different things unique to themselves and their own life. A DA member might be 1) spending beyond her means and therefore in the right place, and 2) making herself wrong for her love of books. My encouragement to her is to focus on the income/expense balance not on what was triggering her to over-spend.

Another thought. During my first year in DA I used to go to a local flower seller and buy one $2 sprig of spring blossom, or one spray of flowers. I got the same amount of pleasure and feeling of abundance from that simple affordable purchase that I had previously received from receiving a gift of a dozen roses. That small, affordable purchase validated my personal value of beauty. It was prosperous self-care. And it was within my means.

Anna H