The Credit Rating as a Higher Power
by an anonymous member of Debtors Anonymous
This recovery story is made available by a member of DA under two conditions: (1) no name is attached, and (2) nobody makes any money off it. Feel free to read it for your own inspiration, and for that of your own local DA group.
In the past, I have heard a lot of people worry about their credit rating as they begin to work the steps and tools of Debtor's Anonymous. Here are some thoughts on the subject. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Before DA, I was scared of my credit rating. I can remember clearly trying to rent a house when my wife's credit rating was bad, and mine was not bad yet, but mostly empty. While we were filling out the paperwork to apply, the realtor in question was screaming at his office help, and making sexually inappropriate comments. My mouth clenched in this sick grin, because I felt I needed this rental house, and I felt that I had to beg because of our bad credit. I swore then that I never would put us in this position again. I was going to be SOMEBODY.
Somewhere around then, I got my first credit card, and the rest was history. I got to be somebody - somebody in debt. I ran up $40,000 of debt to different debtors trying to be somebody. For me, an obsession about being somebody helped me to get where I was at. My parents have always had an excellent credit rating, and I still feel a sense of shame about mine.
But DA is not about credit ratings. DA is about recovery from compulsive debt, one day at a time. Compulsive debting is a disease, and it may kill you, if things get bad enough. I believe that to truly recover in DA you have to remember a phrase in the Big Book:
"Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon."
Do you want to be free of compulsive debt, or do you want a good credit rating? If you could have only have one, which one would it be?
For me, it will be debt-free. I will not debt, no matter what happens. I need to make that commitment, no matter how hard it is. I know that if I don't say that to myself, I can very easily slip back into debt. For me, worrying about my credit rating is like worrying about leaving my luggage on the Titanic, as I scramble onto a lifeboat. It's low down on my priority list. I don't stomp on it just for the heck of it, but its infinitely less important than my solvency.
Does a bad credit rating make it harder to live? Yes, sometimes it can. I know that any secured debt I make in the near future (like a car) will have a much higher rate of interest. There may be houses and apartments that I am unable to rent because of it. There may be some jobs I will not get. That is a reality.
But the only way for me to "fix" my credit rating ethically is to stop debting, continue to not debt, and to pay off my debtors. This is what DA teaches. If you work this program, your credit rating will eventually improve. It may not happen for years, but it will happen. Charge-offs, bankruptcies, and other bad credit features do eventually come off of your credit report record.
Many creditors will attempt to threaten your credit rating as they bully you to obtain more money for themselves, regardless of what that will do to you. If you can afford the payments demanded by your creditors, after careful discussion with your Pressure Relief Group, and your needs and wants are taken care of, by all means, do so. But, if you are like most of us, you will be unable to make these high payments, and your credit rating will be damaged. DA teaches us to take care of ourselves first, and our creditors second. This is for two reasons. The first is completely practical: if you deprive yourself of legitimate needs and wants, you will debt again. It's that simple. The second reason is one of simple human rights: Visa does not own me. Nor does Chase Manhattan. Or Sallie Mae. Or any other creditor. I am a person, and I have the right to live my life. I am not a slave. I will not turn my creditors or credit reports into my Higher Power.
If one runs into a situation where a credit check is needed, I would suggest dealing with it in an honest, straightforward fashion. Have a copy of your credit report already, and make sure it is accurate. Obtain your FICO (Fair, Issac and Co.) score ahead of time, and know where you stand. Be honest. If you are comfortable, explain that you are in a debt recovery program. Show them your repayment of any portion of the debts you are paying on. If you can afford it, offer a larger deposit, or larger down payment. Allow them to see the person you are today, not the person in your past.
Some employers and realtors will come around to this. Some will not. You did your part, and that is all you can do. The rest is up to fate, and the actions of your own personal Higher Power.
It all comes back to the beginning: not debting, one day at at time.
Name witheld in the interest of anonymity.