Visions
by an anonymous member of Debtors Anonymous
This recovery story is made available by a member of DA under two conditions: (1) no name is attached, and (2) nobody makes any money off it. Feel free to read it for your own inspiration, and for that of your own local DA group.
I have found that visions work has been an integral and essential part of my DA recovery.
My first memory about visions was early in DA when I heard about the successes that others had had. The most notable successes were all the nice vacations people were taking -- paying cash! It gave me a sense that recovery was possible, and helpe me find the courage to continue. Since then I've been traveling regularly both for work and for pleasure, without incurring debt.
Working a spending plan with my pressure relief meeting was an important way of working toward my vision. I learned the importance of delayed gratification, along with the need to save. I also learned the importance of balance: working enough to be solvent, one day at a time, without needing to pay all my creditors off too quickly.
Solvency itself has been important. I've seen too many people in DA use "I'm pursuing my vision" as an excuse for incurring debt. Without remembering the basics of the program, we are just creating a new rationalization. I was an expert at rationalizing any behavior before DA and needed to let go of that.
Step Four has been the most important tool for visions work. Any "vision" that is not in alignment with my spiritual purpose is not furthering of recovery. Through the fourth step inventory I discovered a calling to attend graduate school and thanks to G-d and DA I earned two graduate degrees without debt. I used the AA Big Book's resentments and fears inventory and discovered all the things I had prevented myself from attempting.
I don't think that long term recovery for me would have been possible without visions work. DA is a hard program and I needed to see some reward at some point. But that reward needed to be gained without incurring unsecured debt, and as I grow spiritually I realized also that any reward needs to be consistent with G-d's will, which is really ultimately my own purpose.
Name witheld in the interest of anonymity.